


Longer than forever

by BranwellBronte



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: Biting, Bittersweet, M/M, Marriage, Scratching, long talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 02:51:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18111761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BranwellBronte/pseuds/BranwellBronte
Summary: A different spin on the Hickey/Gibson marriage proposal I wrote in "The wind hears me." Gooier and talkier.





	Longer than forever

**Author's Note:**

> So the time setting for this is kind of vague, it's when they leave the ships and while they're planning the mutiny but a lot of other details didn't seem super pertinent so I didn't focus on them. Suspend disbelief as needed.

            Gibson coughs into his elbow and drops the Goldner’s tin. It lands on Hickey’s foot. Gibson wipes the back of his hand on his mouth and moans, leaning down to pick up the tin but Hickey swiftly plucks it up first and drops back in the sledge.

            “Did I hurt you?” Gibson asks plaintively, searching Hickey’s eyes.

            Hickey shrugs and takes a drag on his tobacco. “It’ll fade.”

            Gibson leans back against the sledge and takes a shaky breath. “I won’t, I’ll go fast, won’t I.”

            Hickey blows out smoke. “Are you asking or telling me, Billy?”

            Gibson closes his eyes and scrunches up his face. He can feel another cough in his throat but he swallows it down. When he turns his head, Hickey is watching his throat. He inhales one last time on his tobacco and stamps it with his foot. “I need you strong, Billy,” he says softly. “We’ve not a hope if even one of us lags behind. We’re men of action. The only way we can do this is if we move as one.”

            The cough plows its way upwards and Gibson has to let it out. When he’s spit out the dregs of it, he looks back at Hickey. Hickey’s eyes are flat and resigned at the same time. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and turns his face up to the wind, not looking at Gibson.

            Gibson swallows and touches the chain around his neck. “I don’t have to ask what will happen when I stop moving, do I?”

            Hickey leans his head back against the sledge and turns the corners of his lips to either side in an “I don’t know” gesture. “You can ask if you want, Billy.”

            “I don’t want to.”

            “Then don’t.”

             “I already know.”

            “Do what you want with the knowledge, then.”

            “I will.” Gibson loosens his comforter scarf and wiggles the chain until it’s over his head. He undoes the clasp, slides off the ring, yanks Hickey’s hand towards him, and folds the ring into Hickey’s fingers. “I don’t know where you got this. But you put it on my finger once. I need you to do it again. When I stop moving, I need to have had this. I won’t go without having this. I won’t.” He lets goes of Hickey’s hand and holds his own fingers out. “When I was a child, I knew I’d never be married. Even before I knew I loved men. I knew it somehow. I was too strange. I had no friends. My parents didn’t know what to do with me. They were relieved when I went to sea and was off their hands. I married as many ships as I could. I pretended that it mended the cracks in my heart. But nothing mended them until I met you. You were my safe haven. You put your arms around me and I knew if the ice froze me I’d have known happiness more bountiful than every rain drop that’s ever fallen. I smashed my heart when I left you and all the cracks opened in an earthquake. I followed the rules of men and not the pleas of my soul. I’m sorry. You’ll never know how much. Not if I told you longer than forever lasts. I need this ring back on my finger. I need to be married. I want to be married. Marry me, Cornelius.”

            Gibson breathes in unsteadily, not realizing how fast he’s been talking. Been pleading. He’s still clinging to Hickey’s hand and he tightens his grip on it ever so slightly.

            Hickey’s eyes are dead-set on nothing in particular. Gibson can’t tell where he’s looking. He feels his heart bumbling along with every beat and then tiny knives of fear begin to sink their points in. What has he done?

            A blossom of hope unfolds in him as Hickey looks down at their hands. With his free hand, he unclenches Gibson’s fingers from him and opens up his palm, the ring still lying at the center of it. Gibson coughs once, cursing himself. But Hickey looks up at him then, his brows lowered over his eyes. He doesn’t look angry, though. He doesn’t look pitying. He looks like he’s stepped in front of a crossroads and the path he wants to take is barred, and the fact that he must walk the other road is a burden of sadness, not fury. It’s the most open look Gibson has seen on his face for months and he feels a tremor in his hands.

            Finally, Hickey looks back down at the ring. He takes it between two fingers and reaches for Gibson’s hand. He places the ring on the first knuckle of Gibson’s ring finger, then looks into Gibson’s eyes as he slides it all the way down. Even after the ring is securely on Gibson’s finger, Hickey doesn’t break his gaze. There’s a shine of satisfaction in his eyes.

            “We’re married, Billy,” he says in a voice just a hint above a whisper. “We’re married longer than forever.”

            A tear tracks down Gibson’s cheek. “Do you want this? Are you happy?”

            Hickey laces the fingers of both his hands into Gibson’s. “I think I’ve wanted it longer than you have.”

            Gibson gives a small laugh and it pushes another tear down his cheek. “I can’t believe that.”

            “Of course you can.”

            “No.”

            “Who kissed you three days after knowing you? Who found an empty space below deck and took you by the hand down there and then put his hands all over you? Who took your clothes off so roughly that there’s still a rip in one of your shirts? Who worshiped your body instead of worshiping God? Who held you in his arms every day? Who told you stories to make you laugh? Who made sure you had the most pleasure before you couldn’t take any more? Who thought we’d always be together? Who loved you, Billy? Who loved you over and over again? Hmm?” Hickey tightens his fingers so strongly into Gibson’s that it almost hurts but Gibson can’t dream of unclasping their hands. “Who?”

            Gibson licks his lips, glances behind both shoulders to see that they’re alone behind the sledge, then brings their clasped hands to his mouth and presses a quick kiss to Hickey’s knuckles. “You mean every word of this?” he breathes.

            Hickey lets go of Gibson’s hands and slides down against the sledge into a cross legged position. “Our wedding ceremony, Billy. Where do you want it to be?”

            Gibson crouches down and lays his legs out straight, his heart thrumming sweetly. “Not in a church.”

            “Who do you think I am?”

            Gibson laughs into his hand and touches the ring. “I don’t know. Somewhere so beautiful. Somewhere I never get to go. I know. The country. Somewhere far away from London. Somewhere with hills or a meadow. Grass. Flowers.”

            “I’ll pick the flowers. I’ll weave them all through your hair.”

            “I won’t wear anything fancy because I’ll want to lay you down on the ground and love you there. I want pieces of grass all over us. I want the whole earth to know us, know what we’re doing.”

            “And after?”

            “I don’t know. I think that would be enough. Well. No, wait. Maybe I want it to be somewhere with people after all. Maybe I want people to see us and know who we are and that we’re married and they can’t change that. They can’t break us apart.”

            “And our first dance?”

            “In front of them all. I can’t dance but I’ll pick you up and swing you around. I’ll say, ‘I love you, I love you, I love you.’ I’ll yell it at the top of my lungs. It’ll echo to the sky.”

            “Echo longer than forever?”

            “Yes. Always.” Gibson caresses his ring. “Do you like this? Would you do it all with me?”

            “Yes.” But Hickey lowers his brows again, seems wavering on his feet in front of the blocked path. He reaches over and touches the ring with one fingertip. He inhales until his breath makes no noise. “Billy, you won’t be able to move.”

Gibson glances around again and touches Hickey’s lips. “Promise me you’ll do it when it’s time.”

“I will.” Hickey gazes at the sky for a moment and nods. He’s taking the open path. Gibson sees it in the firmness of his jaw. He doesn’t know when, but some day it will be time.

Hickey looks back at Gibson. “I’m supposed to be taking my tent down after I’ve finished with the tins. You can help me. We’ll have about five minutes.”

“Let’s go.”

In the tent, they tongue each other’s mouths open and kiss fast and rough, chins and jawbones getting wet. Hickey pulls Gibson’s shirt off his shoulder and sucks his skin with a fervency Gibson knows will leave beautiful purple-blue marks. He slides his hands under Hickey’s shirt and caresses his back, then rakes it with his nails. Hickey turns his sucking into biting, nipping at first and then sinking all of his teeth into Gibson’s skin. Gibson grunts at the pain and pulls his fingers through with abandon, pulling through knots and plucking out random hairs. Hickey hisses and shoves Gibson onto his back. Gibson pushes him up and wrestles him over straddles him. There’s no time to take their clothes off but they rub against each other before lying side by side again and kissing all over each other’s faces, lips touching again and again. When they finish, Gibson coughs. Then they un-pitch the tent and haul it into a sledge outside.

As they leave the camp later in the day, Gibson’s ring back on the chain around his neck, Gibson murmurs, “I’ll stay as long as I can.”

Hickey murmurs back, “I’ll expect you to.”

“I’m a married man and so are you.”

“There’s no denying that.”

“I’m safe in that, even when I’m finally not safe with you.”

“Did you get what you wanted today, Billy?”

“Yes.”

“So did I.”

“You mean that?”

“Yes. Our love will survive everything, Billy. The pain will be over before you know it. I’m a good husband.”

Gibson coughs. “I know. I'll always know.”


End file.
